Brené Brown on Vulnerability and Empathy

Many will remember Brené Brown’s TEDx talk on The Power of Vulnerability – it went viral (13.7 million views and counting) – and possibly her book: The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are.  Brown, research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, introduces  “wholeheartedness” : The capacity to engage in our lives with authenticity, courage, compassion, and above all, to be vulnerable – to embrace who you really are.

Vulnerability is not another word for weakness, vulnerability requires strength.  Brown, who has spent the past decade or more studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame, leaves us with five tips in her talk:

  • Be authentic
  • Let yourself be seen, really seen – vulnerably seen
  • Love with a whole heart
  • Practice gratitude and joy
  • Believe that “I am enough”

More recently she spoke at the Royal Society for the encouragement of Arts, Manufactures and Commerce (RSA), again on the question of vulnerability, and tells us that empathy is not possible without vulnerability, only sympathy is.

Empathy is about being present with someone, and if you are present and engaged and take the amour off, you’ll know what that person across from you needs.

Brown says that “empathy fuels connection, (whereas) sympathy drives disconnection”, a theme she continues in her latest book, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead.  It’s now on my reading list.

The folks at RSA Animate have taken Brown’s narrative on the difference between empathy and sympathy and created an animated short entitled, The Power of Empathy, something I thought readers would enjoy.

There is much to take away from Brown’s talks and her work in general.  Since revisiting these talks I am musing over and reminding myself  that:

Rarely can a response make something better, what makes things better is connection, and…

Empathy is not automatic, it is a choice and it is a vulnerable choice.

What does vulnerability and empathy mean to you?

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